When Pride Enters the Church: Lessons from Diotrephes
Pride is a universal human struggle that can infiltrate even the most sacred spaces. In his third letter, the apostle John addresses a serious problem that was tearing apart an early church: the destructive power of ego and the desire to be first rather than faithful.
What Does It Mean to Love Being First?
John writes about a man named Diotrephes “who loves to be first.” This isn’t about healthy leadership or natural giftedness. This is about egocentric ambition that puts personal recognition above everything else, including the Gospel itself.
When we examine our own hearts, we often find this same “me first” mentality. We want to be noticed, recognized, and seen as important. Whether it’s in the boardroom, classroom, athletic field, or even our own families, the desire to stand out and matter can become consuming.
How Does Pride Manifest in Church Settings?
The story of Diotrephes reveals four specific ways pride can damage a church community:
Suppressing Truth
Diotrephes refused to share John’s letter with the church. When an apostle (someone who had walked with Jesus!) sent guidance to the church, this leader decided the congregation didn’t need to hear it. Pride will silence truth whenever truth threatens control.
Attacking People
John describes how Diotrephes spread “malicious nonsense” about the apostles and missionaries. When we’re threatened, pride often leads us to tear others down rather than build them up.
Rejecting Mission
The church was called to show hospitality to traveling missionaries, but Diotrephes refused. Pride can cause us to reject God’s mission when it doesn’t serve our personal agenda.
Removing Opposition
Perhaps most destructively, Diotrephes threatened to kick people out of the church if they welcomed the missionaries or listened to John’s teaching. Pride will sacrifice people to protect position.
What’s the Alternative to Pride-Driven Leadership?
John presents a powerful contrast by highlighting two other men: Gaius and Demetrius. These individuals were known for their faithfulness, humility, and trustworthiness. They built bridges to Jesus rather than creating locked doors.
The difference is striking. While Diotrephes was focused on being seen and maintaining control, Gaius and Demetrius were quietly faithful, building others up and creating open doors for people to encounter Jesus.
Why Do We Struggle with the Need to Be First?
The spirit of Diotrephes lives in every human heart. We all have a deep desire to be known, seen, and to matter. This isn’t necessarily wrong; God created us for significance. The problem comes when our need for control becomes greater than our desire to be faithful to Jesus.
We live in a culture that has traded tables for platforms. Social media encourages us to present our highlight reel while hiding our struggles. We showcase the perfect family photo on the first day of school but never share the chaos of day 58 when everyone’s losing their minds.
How Did Jesus Build His Kingdom?
Jesus built the kingdom of God around tables, not platforms. Yes, he taught from platforms, but the real kingdom work happened in intimate settings, such as, breaking bread, sharing meals, and creating space for authentic fellowship.
The most impactful ministry often happens in living rooms, around dinner tables, and in everyday conversations where people feel known, seen, and valued. These aren’t the moments that make headlines, but they’re the moments that change lives.
What Does Faithful Service Look Like?
Paul gives us a beautiful model when he says, “Follow me as I follow Christ.” This isn’t Paul promoting himself. It’s the opposite. He’s saying he has nothing to offer except his pursuit of Jesus, and he invites others to join him in that pursuit.
We are simply interchangeable pieces in God’s kingdom. If any of us walked away tomorrow, God could find someone to do the work better than we can. This should be humbling, not discouraging. It frees us from the pressure to be indispensable and allows us to focus on faithful service.
Life Application
The challenge this week is simple but profound: What if we made it our goal to outdo each other in doing good? Not for recognition or another trophy for our collection, but to magnify Jesus in a world desperate for hope and compassion.
Consider these questions as you examine your own heart:
- Am I more concerned with being first or being faithful?
- Do I build bridges to Jesus or create locked doors through my actions and attitudes?
- When I serve, am I seeking recognition or genuinely trying to help others encounter Christ?
- How can I create “table moments” where people feel known, seen, and valued?
Remember Paul’s encouragement: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9). The world is looking for authentic compassion and genuine love. When we put aside our need to be first and focus on faithful service, we partner with Jesus in his mission to make all things new.
This isn’t about you, and it isn’t about me. It’s simply about Jesus and the incredible privilege we have to join Him in the renewal and restoration of all things.