When God’s Presence Feels Too Close: Finding Comfort in Being Fully Known
Have you ever felt like you wanted to hide from God? That tension between desperately needing His presence and simultaneously wishing He couldn’t see everything about you? This internal struggle lies at the heart of one of the most profound psalms in Scripture, Psalm 139.
The Beautiful Tension of God’s Presence
David opens this psalm with a startling declaration: “You have searched me, O God, and you know me.” He goes on to describe how God knows when he sits and rises, perceives his thoughts from afar, and is familiar with all his ways. Before a word is even on David’s tongue, God knows it completely.
This intimate knowledge of God creates a fascinating tension, one that mirrors the parent-child relationship. When children are hurt or afraid, they run to their parents for comfort, finding safety in those loving arms. But when they’ve done something wrong, that same closeness becomes uncomfortable. The very presence that once brought comfort now brings exposure and shame.
Why Do We Try to Hide from God?
The Reality of Shame
Shame whispers the question: “Is there something about me that, if everyone knew, would make me unworthy of relationship?” We all carry things in our past that we’d never want others to discover. This shame drives us to hide, even from the God who already sees everything.
David expresses this struggle beautifully: “Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?” He describes trying to escape to the heavens, the depths, the wings of the dawn, or the far side of the sea – but God is there in every place.
The Wrestling Match Within
The psalm takes an interesting turn as David declares his hatred for evil and those who rebel against God. But this isn’t just about external enemies, it’s about the internal battle we all face. David is wrestling with the reality that sometimes he himself participates in the very evil he despises.
This echoes Paul’s words in Romans 7: “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” It’s the universal human struggle of wanting to follow God’s ways while still falling short.
What Does It Mean to Be Fully Known?
God Knew You Before You Were Born
David marvels that God knew him even before his birth: “You created my innermost being. You knit me together in my mother’s womb… Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
This isn’t just poetic language. It’s the profound truth that God’s knowledge of you extends beyond your actions to your very essence. He knew you when you were just a possibility, and He saw your potential before you took your first breath.
The God Who Stays
Here’s the beautiful reality hidden in this psalm: the same God who sees everything, your best days and your worst days and all your shame, has never left you. The eyes that search you never look away, not in disgust or disappointment. Those eyes look at you with unwavering love.
This is the essence of the Gospel woven throughout Psalm 139. You are fully known and fully loved by the God who stays.
How Should We Respond to God’s All-Seeing Presence?
From Hiding to Invitation
David’s response is remarkable. Instead of continuing to hide, he issues an invitation: “Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.”
This is a complete reversal from trying to flee God’s presence. David is now asking God to look even closer, to examine his heart and thoughts, to root out anything that doesn’t belong.
The Prayer of Transformation
When we stop hiding and start inviting God’s examination, we open ourselves to transformation. David’s prayer becomes a model for us. To ask God to reveal areas that need change and to lead us in His ways.
This isn’t about perfection; it’s about progression. It’s about allowing God’s Spirit to convict us and help us become more like Jesus from the inside out.
Life Application
This week, instead of trying to hide from God’s presence, embrace the truth that you are fully known and fully loved. Take time each day to pray David’s prayer: “Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Allow God’s Spirit to reveal areas in your life that need attention, whether it’s an addiction, the way you speak about others, what you watch or read, or attitudes that don’t reflect Christ. Remember that conviction isn’t condemnation; it’s God’s loving way of helping you grow.
Ask yourself these questions:
- What areas of my life am I trying to hide from God?
- How can I move from shame to invitation in my relationship with Him?
- What would change if I truly believed I am fully known and fully loved?
- How is God calling me to transformation in this season?
The God who sees everything about you, every failure, every struggle, every moment of weakness, chose to send His Son to redeem you. You don’t have to hide anymore. You can live in the freedom of being fully known and unconditionally loved.