Learning to Abide When Life Falls Apart
Life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs that leave us questioning everything we thought we knew about faith. In those moments when tragedy strikes, when prayers seem unanswered, and when God feels distant, we face a critical choice: will we stay faithful, or will we walk away?
What Does It Mean to Abide in Faith?
To abide means to remain faithful to God when obedience no longer guarantees relief. It’s staying committed when our faithfulness doesn’t result in the neat, tidy outcomes we desperately want. Abiding asks the hard question: if we don’t get the answer we want, or any answer at all, is God’s presence still enough?
When Doubt Comes from Experience, Not Intellect
For most people, doubt doesn’t arise from intellectual struggles with faith but from experiential crises. We experience something that shatters our world, and it seems like God didn’t show up or intervene the way we assumed He would. These traumatic, life-altering events naturally bring questions: Why did this happen? Where is God in this? When will it end?
The Fiery Furnace: A Model of Unwavering Faith
The story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego provides a powerful example of what abiding looks like in practice. When King Nebuchadnezzar demanded they bow to his golden statue or face death in a blazing furnace, their response was remarkable.
Faith Without Conditions
These three young men didn’t negotiate with God or make their faithfulness conditional on deliverance. They declared: “The God we serve is able to deliver us from the blazing furnace, and he will deliver us from your majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, your majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”
Their faith wasn’t rooted in expected results but in their relationship with God. It wasn’t sustained by certainty but by trust. It wasn’t proven in deliverance but in devotion.
God’s Response: Presence in the Pain
When the three men were thrown into the furnace heated seven times hotter than normal, something extraordinary happened. King Nebuchadnezzar saw not three men in the fire, but four! And the fourth looked like “a son of the gods.” God didn’t explain the situation or provide reasons. He simply joined them in the fire.
This reveals a profound truth: sometimes God’s response to our pain isn’t explanation but His presence. He joins us in our suffering rather than immediately removing us from it.
How Trials Produce Spiritual Maturity
The Purpose of Perseverance
James writes, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” This doesn’t mean we should find joy in suffering itself, but in what the suffering produces in us over time.
Spiritual maturity is the capacity to remain faithful under pressure. We learn this faithfulness through abiding in Christ, finding our life in Him rather than in our circumstances.
The Long View of Growth
The transformation that comes through trials isn’t visible immediately. You might not see it tomorrow, next week, or even next year. But having walked through pain and difficulty, we can eventually look back and recognize how God has changed us in ways that would never have happened otherwise.
Learning to Abide in Difficult Times
Name Your “If”
The first step in learning to abide is identifying your conditional faith. What are you telling God? “I will remain faithful if you heal the marriage,” “if you cure the disease,” “if you answer this prayer.” Be honest about these conditions.
Release the Leverage
True abiding means releasing these conditions. It’s moving from “if” to “even if.” Even if God doesn’t heal, even if prayers aren’t answered the way we want, even if circumstances don’t improve—we will not bow to other gods or abandon our faith.
Permission to Not Be Okay
Abiding gives us permission to slow down, to not rush through pain, to lament, to hurt, and to not be okay. It’s not about putting on a brave face or pretending everything is fine. It’s about staying faithful while acknowledging the reality of our struggles.
Where Are You Tempted to Walk Away?
Consider where you might be tempted to walk away—not necessarily physically, but emotionally or spiritually—because God hasn’t done what you hoped. What is the “if” you’re waiting for God to answer?
Having these conditions doesn’t make you a bad person; it makes you human. Following Jesus simply means saying “even if” instead of “if.”
A Community That Stays
As believers, we’re called to be a staying community. We practice faithfulness over success, create space for God’s presence, and bear witness by remaining committed. We stay with God, with one another, and in the fire, even when there are no guarantees.
This is how we bear witness to God’s goodness—not through perfect circumstances, but through abiding faith in imperfect ones.
Life Application
God will take you to places you haven’t chosen to go in order to produce in you what you’re incapable of producing on your own. This week, identify the “if” conditions in your faith. What are you waiting for God to do before you fully trust Him?
Challenge yourself to move from conditional faith to abiding faith. Instead of “God, I’ll trust you if…” try “God, I’ll trust you even if…” This shift doesn’t happen overnight, but it begins with recognizing where you’ve been placing conditions on your faithfulness.
Ask yourself: Where am I tempted to walk away from God because He hasn’t met my expectations? What would it look like to stay faithful in that area, even without guarantees? How can I create space in my life to experience God’s presence, especially when I don’t understand His ways?
Remember, abiding isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about trusting the One who does, even when His presence is all we have.